The Thread Of Complete Randomness

    Quote from thewatcher

    I wall mounted a 65" TV this evening. It was a terrifying experience. Of 8 screws, I don't think I repeated the same combination of screw/bolt/anchor even once. One is overtly loose and only two are on a stud. I now get to spend all of my time waiting for a huge crash signifying that the whole thing has pulled loose leaving the TV, the wall, my wallet and my marriage in equal states of disrepair.

    There are few such home-related things beyond changing light bulbs and knocking in a nail to hang a calendar on that I'm prepared to do, being largely cack-handed and clueless in these matters. Wall-mounting an expensive piece of AV equipment bigger than a Great Dane is definitely one I'd avoid. Damn foolish affair if you ask me.

    Abandon all reason

    Quote from Backdrifter

    There are few such home-related things beyond changing light bulbs and knocking in a nail to hang a calendar on that I'm prepared to do, being largely cack-handed and clueless in these matters. Wall-mounting an expensive piece of AV equipment bigger than a Great Dane is definitely one I'd avoid. Damn foolish affair if you ask me.

    😆 I couldn't agree more! Too much learning while doing, which is not the correct arena at all for such an education. Well, it survived 24 hours so far, but I could barely sleep last night waiting for the crash, and tonight may be no better.

    Quote from thewatcher

    😆 I couldn't agree more! Too much learning while doing, which is not the correct arena at all for such an education. Well, it survived 24 hours so far, but I could barely sleep last night waiting for the crash, and tonight may be no better.

    'Waiting For The Crash' - a pretty cool title looking for a song, album or novel to attach itself to.

    Abandon all reason

    Like 1
    Quote from Backdrifter

    'Waiting For The Crash' - a pretty cool title looking for a song, album or novel to attach itself to.

    Yes, and the cover of said album might be an image depicting the consequences of poorly mounting a large screen TV, which I am happy to report - 36 hours in - I am unable to provide. 🤞


    Or come to think of it, such an image would probably be on the follow up album, After The Crash. The tracklist writes itself.

    1. Shock track

    2. The Fight (I told you so)

    3. Shattered Glass in Mangled Circuitry

    4. Floorboard Woes

    5. The Contractor (money, money, money)

    6. Depletion I (money)

    7. Depletion II (the will to live)

    8. The Divorce

    9. I Told You So Reprise

    10. Was It Worth It?

    I'm immediately envisioning the subsequent stage musical.


    Curtain up


    Lights up on:


    Living room


    MR WATCHER and MRS WATCHER stand facing the audience, about 3 metres apart. Behind them, a blank wall.


    OPENING SONG: 'JUST A WALL' (sung in hackneyed stage musical style as parodied in Spamalot's "The Song That Goes Like This")


    MRS W: A wall. Just a wall. So alive with possibility....


    MR W: It's pulling me in. I think I can seeeeeeeee... such action, so many images....


    MRS W: But how can it be? Will it take the load?


    (building to dramatic crescendo)


    MR W: With the right screws and fixings we can make it happen!


    MRS W: But it can't be too big MR W: 65 inches...

    MRS W: We can't overreach... MR W: 65 inches...

    MRS W: Can't we just use a stand? MR W: 65 inches...

    MRS W: What if there is a breach? MR W: SIXTYYYY FIIIIVE INCHEEEESSSSSS!


    (music comes off crescendo and quietens, MR W dances excitedly off. Dark except for spotlight on MRS W for reflective end-bit trope)


    MRS W:

    Can we really make it?

    I feel so scared

    That it will all turn to dust and ash

    I know it's his dream

    He really cares

    But I would just be alwaaaaays...

    Waiting for the crash


    (End chords resolve into distant resounding crash, muffled with reverb. She casts her eyes down. Spoltlight off, end song)


    The rest writes itself

    Abandon all reason

    Like 2
    Quote from thewatcher

    I now get to spend all of my time waiting for a huge crash signifying that the whole thing has pulled loose leaving the TV, the wall, my wallet and my marriage in equal states of disrepair.


    Can you set up a live stream? It sounds like a very interesting art installation.

    Sat at furthest end from the entrance of an otherwise empty café, I watch a customer enter & walk past all the empty tables to sit at the one right next to mine. She's barely even a metre away ffs.


    Never mind pandemics, people should just stay the fuck away from each other (ie, me)


    (EDIT - it's a stranger by the way, not Mrs B or my mum)

    Abandon all reason

    Quote from Backdrifter

    Sat at furthest end from the entrance of an otherwise empty café, I watch a customer enter & walk past all the empty tables to sit at the one right next to mine. She's barely even a metre away ffs.


    Never mind pandemics, people should just stay the fuck away from each other (ie, me)


    (EDIT - it's a stranger by the way, not Mrs B or my mum)

    Ah ffs. Totally unacceptable.

    Quote from thewatcher

    Ah ffs. Totally unacceptable.

    See also otherwise empty bus or train (with the 'was full, now emptied out but they stay sat next to you' variation) and as I also had earlier, taking the stall next to you in otherwise empty public toilet with 4 other unoccupied stalls. What's wrong with these people?!


    I'm seeing a film shortly. When I booked it online earlier no other seats were taken. What are the odds that (etc)...

    Abandon all reason

    Quote from thewatcher

    😆 I laughed at that, thanks.


    Edit: the system came with a free download of Resident Evil 4, and I didn't have time to try it yet. I confess the whole thing is so immersive I am slightly nervous of what being in a dark world full of bloodthirsty half-humans is going to be like. Bring it on!

    I've spent a good bit of time playing Resident Evil 4 in VR now. I am not in any way a "gamer" so bear that in mind!


    It's very, very entertaining I have to say. Very immersive. However, there is such a thing as VR nausea, which I guess is the exact same phenomenon as sea sickness. I'm not prone to that at all, but after an hour in the VR game I start to feel ever so slightly queasy from it. The headset can become uncomfortable after that long also, which may be exacerbated by my wearing glasses. There are much more comfortable headstraps you can get apparently, and if it's something I'm going to continue using a lot I may upgrade that. The battery could be better.


    These issues aside, the experience of being completely inside the game world is great. It can be quite scary which is fun. There's a learning curve with the controls but I got it pretty quickly. I'm looking forward to trying out some different titles.

    AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH :cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:


    I spent all day avoiding the result of the tennis final from Australia. I sat down to watch it and the first 3 games did not disappoint. I'm totally satisfied with 2 - 3 hours of brilliant entertainment to look forward to. The video gets stuck on my computer. I reload the site. It gets stuck again. Over and over. I decide to restart the computer, but there's an update. It will take 3 minutes. I decide to watch on my phone temporarily so I go to the ESPN website. It says I have to open the app. I open the app and THERE IS THE FUCKING RESULT top and center staring me in the face. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING MISERABLE FUCKING FUCK. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!! ||

    Quote from thewatcher

    AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH :cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:


    I spent all day avoiding the result of the tennis final from Australia. I sat down to watch it and the first 3 games did not disappoint. I'm totally satisfied with 2 - 3 hours of brilliant entertainment to look forward to. The video gets stuck on my computer. I reload the site. It gets stuck again. Over and over. I decide to restart the computer, but there's an update. It will take 3 minutes. I decide to watch on my phone temporarily so I go to the ESPN website. It says I have to open the app. I open the app and THERE IS THE FUCKING RESULT top and center staring me in the face. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING MISERABLE FUCKING FUCK. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!! ||

    Ohhhhh mate... I'd react the same way. Beyond infuriatingly frustrating.


    I'm reminded of recently when as usual I avoided the English Premier League football results all day, recorded Match Of The Day to watch later and savour the prospect of some particularly enticing fixtures. Got comfortable, started playing the recording. It began a few minutes before MOTD so caught the end of the preceding news bulletin. During the sports roundup. And in fact, the very first thing on screen was the entire Premier League score card, all the results listed. Including several real shockers with very frothy shorelines.


    And even though with lightning reflexes I immediately shut my eyes and stopped the playback (while shouting "GAAAAH!"), in the one second it was on I swear every single result burned itself into my brain. I could have recited them perfectly. Instead of which I just shouted "FUCK". Then deleted the recording.

    Abandon all reason

    Quote from Backdrifter

    Ohhhhh mate... I'd react the same way. Beyond infuriatingly frustrating.


    I'm reminded of recently when as usual I avoided the English Premier League football results all day, recorded Match Of The Day to watch later and savour the prospect of some particularly enticing fixtures. Got comfortable, started playing the recording. It began a few minutes before MOTD so caught the end of the preceding news bulletin. During the sports roundup. And in fact, the very first thing on screen was the entire Premier League score card, all the results listed. Including several real shockers with very frothy shorelines.


    And even though with lightning reflexes I immediately shut my eyes and stopped the playback (while shouting "GAAAAH!"), in the one second it was on I swear every single result burned itself into my brain. I could have recited them perfectly. Instead of which I just shouted "FUCK". Then deleted the recording.

    Awwwwwww shite! That sounds hideous, absolutely awful and *exactly* the same as what happened to me. It's just a gut punch. A gut punch of hard-to-describe viciousness. I had the same moment of instantly averting my eyes as if in doing so I might actually turn back time somehow and undo my knowledge, my terrible, terrible knowledge of the score.


    I'm semi-laughing (at myself) now that i've got my wind back, but the depth of rage i felt at the universe in that moment was truly a howl at the void.


    If I'm looking for a silver lining, at least it didn't happen last year with Nadal's extraordinary victory at the same tournament.

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