The Thread Of Complete Randomness

  • Railway stations. Please remove all those pianos so that while waiting in the station, which might already not be a great experience, we don't have to listen to people fumbling around on the keyboard in a setting where the acoustics make their selfish ineptitude even more annoying.


    Thank you.

    Abandon all reason

  • Restaurants. Please don't serve food ON a napkin on the plate, such as fish in sauce accompanied by salad, as it creates a soggy wad of paper that has to be extracted from under the food and is completely pointless and utterly stupid.


    Thank you.

    Abandon all reason

  • Railway stations. Please remove all those pianos so that while waiting in the station, which might already not be a great experience, we don't have to listen to people fumbling around on the keyboard in a setting where the acoustics make their selfish ineptitude even more annoying.

    Unless a certain Mr Tony Banks is in the vicinity in which case he is welcome to fumble around for as long as he likes.

  • UK hotels. Please reinstate rooms with openable windows instead of being hermetically sealed with air-handling systems, making it uncomfortable and causing the room to veer between stuffy and cold and leading to dry itchy eyes and sniffleyness.


    Thank you.

    Abandon all reason

  • Railway stations. Please remove all those pianos so that while waiting in the station, which might already not be a great experience, we don't have to listen to people fumbling around on the keyboard in a setting where the acoustics make their selfish ineptitude even more annoying.


    Thank you.

    Can I extend that sentiment to shopping centres as well?

    With perfumes/people talking/music blaring from every shop/kids screaming it's already a sensory overload experience - why on top of that, do we have to listen to people practicing the Amelie soundtrack while their friends cheer them/film them?

  • Restaurants. Please don't serve food ON a napkin on the plate, such as fish in sauce accompanied by salad, as it creates a soggy wad of paper that has to be extracted from under the food and is completely pointless and utterly stupid.


    Thank you.

    And please serve food on a plate. Not on a piece of slate or a slab of wood or a basket or a mini bucket. The human worked out how useful plates are several hundred years ago after thousands is years of evolution. Many modern restaurants now seem think a bit of wood or a flat slate with a little bucket for your chips is an improvement. Mrs Farmer always cringes when she is with me and the food arrives on something unhygienic or a table mat and I ask for a plate! Plates work really well. Just the right thing to eat food from.

  • Restaurants. Please don't serve food ON a napkin on the plate, such as fish in sauce accompanied by salad, as it creates a soggy wad of paper that has to be extracted from under the food and is completely pointless and utterly stupid.


    Thank you.

    That sounds disgusting. Who wants to be taking bites of food mixed with mushy napkin bits? Especially fish. Gag. As a customer I would be livid. Presentation matters.